Plumber Lost in Taco Bell ‘Sink’ Hole
The Daily Drunk
Whenever The Villages makes the news, I think sinkhole.
The retirement community - infamous for a number of hilarious reasons - is unfortunately built in a region with high sinkhole risk, the potential exacerbated by development and heavy rainfall. The limestone tends to dissolve when underground water levels rise and pop, I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
No one living in The Villages has been swallowed alive (like the poor guy in Tampa), but the community continues to deal with damage to roads and golf courses blanketing what was once gorgeous natural Florida habitat.
Most writers carry a certain amount of anxiety that sometimes reflects in the work. For myself, somewhere deep in my magical thinking, I believe if I write the worry on the page, the bad stuff will not come to pass.
Translated, writing about a sinkhole will clearly negate any potential personal future sinkhole anomaly.
Being a satirist at heart though, the reading of such may smart a bit.
Plumber Lost in Taco Bell ‘Sink’ Hole was written in response to a prompt “write a news story” during a One Story online class and shaped as submission for Taco Bell Quarterly. The old thumbs down from TBQ turned thumbs up by The Daily Drunk, a perfect home for a good old-fashioned nose thumb.
Thank you, editors and thank you all for reading.
Read the story and check out the DD lit mag here.
Check out the One Story classes here.
Plumber Lost in Taco Bell ‘Sink’ Hole
The Villages, Florida – The search continues for local plumber Bill Myers last seen going down the drain at Taco Bell.
James Frederick joined Myers on the service call to clear a clogged sink at the fast food restaurant. “I reached for a drain auger and when I turned back around, his boots were circling the drain.” Frederick utilized a pipe wrench in attempt to free his Plumb Crazy business partner, but Myers had already cleared the sink trap. ‘He took the clog right along with him.”
Sink traps are best known by consumers for catching objects accidentally lost down the drain.
The Taco Bell shift manager asked not to be identified. “I feel for Mr. Myers, I really do, he’s got tacos on the house for life as far as I’m concerned, but now that the clog is cleared, I want the police line tape gone, like now. I’ve got a ****load of Taco and Burrito party packs to prepare for the Ladies Mahjong Tournament later this week and I want my kitchen back.”
No evacuations have been ordered for Taco Bell or the surrounding area. Police have asked residents living in the Florida senior retirement community to report any suspicious holes in the ground, creaks, cracks or unusual odors. The smell of sewer gas may indicate Myers’ attempt to reenter a building back through the pipes.
Robert Morris, President of the UA Plumbers & Pipefitters Local Union 666 urged patience. “Anything is possible. This is the first ‘sink’ hole I’ve ever heard involving a sink, commercial or otherwise. What we don’t want to do is fill the drain with cement and block return access.”
Typical sinkholes are cavities formed when water erodes an underlying rock layer. The Villages have sustained a number of sinkholes since 2002. The most recent reconfigured a neighborhood cul-de-sac into a small retention pond. Several “For Sale” signs were viewed floating the surface. Plumb Crazy has service calls scheduled in the area throughout this month. Frederick will carry on alone and vows to keep searching. “It’s a wait and watch situation. If only we had used the plunger first, we’d be sitting table high in black bean quesaritos right about now.”
Taco Bell Corporate Headquarters declined comment for this report.
Florida son Tom Petty would have celebrated his 75th birthday on October 20, 2025.
To say he is missed is a huge understatement.
Enjoy the Tom Petty Trail: Florida Playlist here.