Critter Cam

Absurdity

My past published stories seem quite frankly irrelevant for these times.

Never fear. A deep dive into my wayback files uncovered a sweet scrap of speculative musings.

Perfectly absurd, absurdly perfect.

To partially quote novelist and absurdist philosopher, Robert Anton Wilson:

“ … keep the lasagna flying.”

Thank you for reading.

Photo by hesam Link on Unsplash

Critter Cam

The snake strikes. I bite back. My teeth sink deep behind its viper head. I shake its length like a good hunting dog. The spine snaps. I release and wag my tail.

Three bats hang from long dead trees. I circle a low limb and hang by my knees, arms crossed over my chest. I close my eyes and wait for dusk to swoop.

An alligator chases me around the house. I run sideways along the wall, a spider of the stucco. I web both gnarly eyes from my stance. Blind, the gator death spirals into the swimming pool.

Honey bees hive my hair with fancy combs. I consider brushing them free, but instead, let them drone on and on about Queen Me.

Fire ants raze my ankles in sudden massacre. I hose off the red hots and turn the fire extinguisher on the mound, tit for tat, take that, monsters.

Lizards dangle from my lobes in matched set. Both hang still as sticks, in momentary respite. The alpha bites down hard. I fling him to the bloody hot sidewalk. It skitters off into the schefflera, a sliver of ear tight in its teeth.

Mosquitoes suck at everything.

A small raccoon sniffs my shoe. His name is Peter. He’s the youngest of a tribe of five. He watches me skateboard. He applauds my kick flip while his family raids our trash can.

cSheree Shatsky

Photo by Olga Serjantu on Unsplash